Zoolander

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Plot – Derek Zoolander is a model at the pinnacle of his career. After being awarded three times in a row “Supermodel of the Year” he is ready to win the fourth title but he meets Hansel,a young and ambitious model,and decides to give up everything to return to his family in Pennsylvania. Hence his agent and the designer Jacobim Mugatu flush him out. The two plan to put Derek through brainwashing so that he starts obeying their orders and assassinate the president of Malaysia.

Movie Info

Title Zoolander

Year 2001

Director Ben Stiller

GenreComedy

Top 24 Quotes of “Zoolander” Movie

I hear words like “beauty” and “handsomness” and “incredibly chiseled features” and for me that’s like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of. Owen Wilson – Hansel

– Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career”.
– Matilda Jeffries: Do what for a career?
– Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good… Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries

“Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn’t mean that we still can’t not die in a freak gasolinefight accident.” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don’t mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“- J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
– Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
– J.P. Prewitt: Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln…”

David Duchovny – J.P. Prewitt
Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries

“If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it’s that a male model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“- Matilda Jeffries: I became…
– Hansel: What?
– Matilda Jeffries: Bulimic.
– Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?”

Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries
Owen Wilson – Hansel
Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“- Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven’t…
– Matilda Jeffries: Done it in a while, yeh.
– Hansel: Now, what’s a while? Like, eight days?” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries
Owen Wilson – Hansel

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, “Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman”.

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“- Derek Zoolander: Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?
– Matilda: A what?
– Derek Zoolander: A eugoogoolizer… one who speaks at funerals.
[Matilda looks at Derek confused]
– Derek Zoolander: Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?”

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries

“- Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda?
– Matilda Jeffries: Honestly?
– Hansel: Yes.
– Matilda Jeffries: I think they’re vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.
– Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?”

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries
Owen Wilson – Hansel

“- Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
– Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?”

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Jon Voight – Larry Zoolander

“Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?” Will Ferrell – Mugatu

“You’re dead to me, son. You’re even more dead to me than your dead mother.”

Jon Voight – Larry Zoolander

“I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“Oh, I’m sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!” Will Ferrell – Mugatu

“I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect…”

Owen Wilson – Hansel

“- Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants?
– Mugatu: What?
– Derek Zoolander: How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander
Will Ferrell – Mugatu

“Who am I?
[phone rings]
God?” Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“Hi Derek! My name’s Little Cletus and I’m here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They’re silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!” Will Ferrell – Mugatu

– Hansel: So I’m rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head”?
– Derek Zoolander: And?
– Hansel: And it was. I was…

Owen Wilson – Hansel
Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”

Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander

“Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.”

Jerry Stiller – Maury Ballstein

“Trippin’ on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!”

Owen Wilson – Hansel